You know when you read a fortune cookie or a quote from one of the many Instagram inspirational quote pages and for a second (or maybe longer), you are shocked at how much the message rings true to where you are in life at this. very. moment? And then, reality may hit and you think, “everyone probably thinks that” and you’re back at square one as if the quote never existed. Well, I find myself at that very place. However, I’m still in the shock phase.
I just turned 24. After a few recommendations by my close friends, I decided to start reading the book entitled “Defining Decade” by Dr. Meg Jay. Everything I’ve read so far has “rang true” to my everyday thoughts and where I am in my life. If you’re in your “twentysomethings,” give it a go. I can almost guarantee you will take at least one insight from it to change your perspective.
So, I’m only on page 65 of 249, and it has led me to start a blog somehow, with two goals in mind:
- To hopefully gain self-clarity.
- To share that LIFE IS NOT PRETTY, especially in your twenties. (More on this later).
Even though, we are lead to believe, that everything is supposed to be just that – pretty.
The book swirves in and out of various twentysomething clients of Dr. Meg Jay and their “problems” they have bravely shared with her. The focus, essentially, is on how many people in their twenties are so lost and confused partially and sometimes solely because what they are lead to believe is that, these years are supposed to be “the best years of our lives.” I, too, am faced with this struggle. I am not happy with my life and it makes me even unhappier that I’m 24 and “already unhappy.” (When I don’t think at any age, any of us in this world, should ever be unhappy).
Studies show, that on average, we check our phones somewhere around 150 times per day. To be honest, for a second I had to really think about that, because I thought that number sounded low (sad, I know). 150 times per day, we are not having nice, friendly chats with people we didn’t just see the night before. Instead, we are on various social media platforms, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc., comparing our lives to not only people we know, but complete strangers. One of my very first instagram posts was a picture of a picture (terrible quality) that says “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Ordinarily, I would have deleted this post because, to be honest, it has very few likes, the picture sucks, and it was from ages ago. However, I can’t help but keep it as a reminder because of how true the message is. I always compare my life to others and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t think for myself without wondering what other’s would do or choose or think. I have always been bad at making decisions, but it has gotten way worse. And now, I can’t help but wonder, what young girls are going through or how this will affect their future and some of the most important developmental years of their lives. I grew up with adults telling us that the female celebrities are photoshopped on the cover of magazines and “no one really looks like that.” That seemed believable and so far out of reach that it didn’t affect me much. Now, everyone can “photoshop” (even worse-can photoshop themselves) in every single picture to share with the world. Even those who post a “#nomakeup” or “#natural” photo have a filter on them to bring out their best physical qualities. I’m not against filters, Instagram, great photos, sharing photos, or any of the sort. I am guilty of exactly all of those things and more. I’m just here to say, stop comparing. Every. single. person. has their own set of problems and no one looks filter-perfect in real life. Life is not pretty. It’s a beautiful mess and that, is perfectly okay. (And believe it or not, it is everyone’s case).
Life Isn't Pretty 